But are you even here?
Our home doors are meant to be open. All we really have to do is simply grab the right set of keys and turn the knob to get in.
Pretty straightforward.
A routine move, we all do to get back to our homes.
But this one, required turning both knobs simultaneously without dropping all the essential groceries in hand. Or phone.
The wind grew fast and the phone kept teasing its drop. All while the grocery bags vigorously stayed rubbing each other with those familiar plastic noises. A sigh wouldn’t even be close enough to fill the imbalance in the air.
Sometimes, I wonder why humans don’t have three hands instead of two.
Our mere two hands made unlocking this particular door an everyday struggle, but it had to be done. Besides the other-side was worth walking into.
The work-in-progress house was quite challenging to feel comfortable in, but it was enough. And had plenty of nooks of mystery.
When walking.l in you see the best view.
Right in front of you see a grandiose dark green forest peering through the windows. It honestly made the strangeness of the home so beautifully comforting.
Nature does cure all.
But there was an end to it.
Days, weeks, go by until it was time to leave.
One more week of freedom until….
“Hey can I talk to you…”
Oh god, those words can truly shake anyone in its core.
“Yes?”
Nervously anticipating a troubling judgement.
Well….
“You are SO beautiful.”
What?
Couldn’t believe it. The shock on my face was woken up but stayed paralyzed.
How, why, what?
Without a moment of hesitation. My heart knew what my head did not want to admit.
Tears ran so quickly to the ground.
“I know I don’t say much, I’m usually the quiet one.”
“But I notice a lot.”
And, and you are so beautiful. Take care of yourself. You are so beautiful and people may envy you. Or be jealous of how you are.
But you are just you. It just comes easy.
What?
The tears kept blurring my vision. Every. Time.
There really should be mini windshield wipers for glasses.
So, the ugly cry exploded all of a sudden after hearing her words. The kind that cuts each word you say to one mumbling syllable.
“I noticed a switch.”
I guess the thought of leaving really did change me.
I said the silliest response to those beautiful words.
Tearfully saying, can I get a hug?
And thanks for noticing me.
What?
How do you tell an angel, her words mended her soul and healed every destructive thought she conjured.
But wait. Where did this even come from?
And who caress?
Well, it started with a girl embarking on a much needed escape to forests. She found herself in a house filled with characters unlike her.
But quickly grew fond of living and learning through uncertainty. Stumbling most of the time especially at the front door, but finding smiles everywhere and discovering more everyday.
Home though was artistically unorganized. Paints everywhere and canvases all over. Floors filled with unkempt clothes. Dishes saved for washing later.
Her eyes were laser focused on her art and her ideas swirling in her — which she shared to her angel already.
Forests have a certain magic to them without making any noise.
Unfamiliar Silence.
I now know escaping to forests meant silence.
It meant hearing your own voice, loudly. Hearing your mind telling stories you don’t belong to anymore.
Days went on from paint to painful naps of tears.
Uncertainty truly can lead to living in your head instead through your heart.
Angel noticed. She always noticed.
She had to stay something. Especially before leaving.
That’s when she empowered the beauty in me instead of judging the ugly messes surrounding.
There was more to the story and she noticed how it wasn’t being written.
Thank god I met Angel and she spoke.
What did we learn from this?
- The first step of self-love and happiness is going back to basics: CARE
Take care of yourself. Not because mom said so. Not because you don’t want to be judged for your shortcomings. Not for anyone, but yourself.
Organizing your socks and washing your dishes are meant to make YOUR life easier. It’s not a personality preference and it’s only reflective of how you respect yourself.
Growing up, we are trained to follow rules so we aren’t punished. But, discipline isn’t simply about being a functional member of society.
It’s self-love.
It’s self-respect.
It’s building a functional lifestyle that serves your greater purpose.
Take care of yourself by doing the basics — clean up after yourself at least before ending your day.
Your tomorrow will gratefully say thank you.
Isn’t it a satisfying feeling to come home to a clean house?
2. Angels do exist
We are all on a path of self discovery. Learning, relearning, and unlearning beautiful lessons all around us. As parents, kids, students, and lovers we embark to find who we are.
Funnily enough, who we are is right here. It’s not out in the forests.
It’s been with us this whole time. However, through life, people, and experiences our soul either gets empowered or shoved down.
Layers start wrapping us, in hopes that the Who we are inside isn’t seen or not fully seen.
No matter how hard anyone can try to hide their true self whether consciously or unconsciously they will spill out every once in a while.
No matter what.
Your mind body soul just can’t help it! There are certain beauties of life you are just drawn too like being creative or saving a life or teaching!
There’s a certain YOUness that almost feels effortless when doing so.
Your perspective is extremely unique.
And it’s only up to YOU to empower yourself to discover who that you is.
In what makes you ALIVE.
Besides being lost is a privilege and a wonderful opportunity for change.
But don’t worry If you’re truly lost — be still but open.
Open enough to see angels.
The only challenge in life is our VISION. We often times blind ourselves from love, life, and experiences.
But if we open our eyes, take a risk, and give your flawed self a chance you’ll be lucky enough to meet people that will forever who you see yourself.
You’ll be lucky enough to be in the beautiful silence of your mind.
You’ll be lucky enough to feel powerful just being choosing to be yourself, every single day.
Angel an opportunity to judge my shortcomings but instead she saw light in me that needed to shine through.
Empowering someone is so easy.
It’s the simplest action we humans can do for each other.
So, open your eyes look at what’s in front of you. What is the world telling you right now?
How can you be a better than the person you were even yesterday?
I’m grateful for my angels — especially the one I found in the forest.
How are you empowering yourself and others?
Photos by Krish
